Why I Still Love Money Dates

A lot has changed in my life over the last year and, probably not surprisingly to anyone but me, those changes have made me feel a bit overwhelmed. I was sharing some of those concerns with my husband the other day and started down a spiral -- saying that I should be able to handle all of these changes and not have any negative reactions. He stopped me and asked me what I would say if one of my clients said that to me. 

Woof. 

What a perfect way to stop me in my tracks. Of course it is reasonable that I feel overwhelmed with the changes in my life! Of course it is reasonable to not always feel on steady ground right now! Coach Me reminded Client Me that the important thing is to be kind to myself and give myself the time and grace to figure out how to create that solidity again (and recognize that full solidity doesn’t really exist). 

When a client is going through similar challenges I help them figure out how to step back from the situation and be realistic. And then I help them figure out what practices they need to help them feel less overwhelmed. But, if I’m being honest, I haven’t kept up with some of the practices that I know help me stay grounded. These are things like: 

• Going for runs

• Making time to read for fun

• Journaling

• Money Dates

I’ve gotten back into my journaling practice and I’m decent at going for runs, but I don’t often read for fun anymore and I’ve missed way more money dates over the past 6 months than I’d like to share. After I told all of this to my husband he immediately stopped me and sat me down to do a couple’s money date. We reviewed upcoming bills, we checked on a few pending tax forms, we discussed our savings goals, and talked about how our spending has changed since our baby was born. It took about 30 minutes and afterwards I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. 

So, if you can relate and are feeling bogged down, may I suggest making a list of things that make you feel grounded and then pick one to do right now? Maybe your shoulders can feel a bit less heavy too.

XOXO