True Life: I’m a Shopaholic // Post #5: Why We Buy

This post is part of a larger series on shopping and I want YOUR input!

Email me by clicking the button below to share your questions, thoughts and ideas.

We buy things for all sorts of reasons: our old version has fallen apart, we “need” it for a specific event, we are tired, it fit well, it’s pretty, Cara Delevigne wore something just like it and looked effortlessly cool and who doesn’t want to look effortlessly cool like Cara Delevigne? Sometimes we buy simply because swiping a card feels good. But buying is not the problem. Buying without purpose and without the money necessary for the items, is the problem.

Just because there are reasons for buying that are valid, doesn’t mean they’re valid for you and your current lifestyle.

Figuring out why you buy:

1. Write down the last few things you’ve bought

2. Why did you buy those things?

3. Do you think those reasons are valid for you right now? Why or why not?

4. What reasons for buying feel good to you right now? (Note: this will change over time! We are not stagnant robots, so our reasons and feelings shift)

5. What are the feelings that come up when you’re thinking about these shopping experiences? What can those feelings tell you?

I’m going to dive deeper into one of the reasons that several of your reached out about — “I buy because it fits.” Although the same thought processes can be used for any reason.

Of all the reasons I listed above, I think buying “because it fits” is the most difficult —it implies that what we currently have in our closets doesn’t fit and therefore makes us feel bad. Whenever our bodies change it is important to make sure we have things to wear that fit us and make us feel good.

That may mean that at certain times in our lives we spend way more time and money on shopping than others, and that’s okay! One problem with the “it fits” reason is that we can easily get into the habit of always buying when we find something, regardless of whether we truly love the item or if we actually need it. That is when it’s time to review what we really need, want and love. That’s where my favorite closet review comes in!

Caroline’s Closet Review 101:

• To successfully complete this closet review you will need:

  1. Your closet!

  2. About an hour of time

  3. A journal/paper/notes app and a pen

Note: You can do this Marie Kondo style and pull everything out of the closet at once or go piecemeal. I completely recognize that not everyone has the time or patience to do the full MK system.

1. Pull out your go-to items that you find yourself wearing over and over again.

   1. Why do you love those items? Is it something about the item itself (color, pattern, style) or is it something about how it makes you feel (confident, sexy, cozy)?

   2. Do you feel like you have enough of these types of items? (i.e. do you always get to put on things you love in the morning or are you often putting on something you dislike, but feel like you have to wear)

2. Go back to your closet and pull out the items that you really struggle to wear. 

   1. Why do you own these things? Is it because you have to wear certain types of clothes for work? Is it because you thought you’d like them more than you actually do? Is it because you bought it for a future body that you’ll have when you lose 7 pounds? There is likely something about the item that you liked to begin with. Do you remember what that is? Does it relate back to the reasons you love your favorite items? 

   2. Do you need to keep these things? If you do, why? What could you be on the lookout for that could replace them? 

3. Create your buy list (and check out mine!)*

   1. List the reasons why you love clothes at the top. Anything new you get should fulfill these requirements!

   2. List out the things you want to buy and, if applicable, the things this would replace. 

   3. Keep this list with you whenever you’re shopping & make sure to update it regularly -- I recommend quarterly, but the frequency should be based on what actually feels good for you. 

*Note: sometimes you don’t actually need to own the things on your list to be able to fulfill your reason for having it. Rent The Runway is perfect for having something special to wear to that event (you know, that event, the one where everyone will be trying to one up each other with their clothing while also somehow looking incredibly laid back?) or for trying out something that pushes your sartorial boundaries without forcing you to commit.

As always, I’d love to hear your questions, your thoughts or your concerns.