Talking About Money with Kids Matters Part 1
For those of you who aren’t aware, I’m pregnant. Like, really pregnant. I’m rounding up on month 9 and will be going on maternity leave sometime next month. A lot changes during pregnancy and, while very few of those topics are on brand for a money centric newsletter, one thing that I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about recently absolutely is: how to talk about money with children.
For those of you without children, I urge you to keep reading because talking with kids about money isn’t too different from talking to other adults (or yourself!) about money.
As regular readers know, I’m obsessed with financial transparency (check out this, this, this and this). However, I grew up in a household where money conversations did not happen and if the topic came up naturally in conversation it was quickly squashed by my parents. I now understand that that familial trend contributed to a really unhealthy money mindset that I had until my late 20s. I know that it contributed to a serious lack of knowledge that led me to make some pretty poor choices. I also understand why my parents didn’t talk about money in front of me and my sister - they had no roadmap for how to do so and had culturally been taught that it was wrong.
I’m determined that my daughter will experience money conversations in a completely different way than I did, but I don’t yet have a clear roadmap of how to do that either. Unlike in the 80s, there are now a lot of resources out there that tell you how to handle these conversations (just google “how to talk about money with kids” - you’ll get 2 million+ hits), but much of the advice is incredibly vague -- i.e. be age appropriate, impart the value of hard work, use teachable moments. None of those ideas are bad, but they also aren’t terribly helpful because 1) most adults don’t feel confident enough in their own financial literacy to follow through, and 2) the decision on how to talk about money with children is really about what you want children to walk away with as young decision makers and vague, blanket advice doesn’t take that into account.
Tackling both of those issues in one newsletter is a bit much, so today I just want to focus on #1. While it is impossible to directly impart specific knowledge to children that you yourself don’t have, there are still wonderful ways to make sure that children grow up financially literate and that you are part of that conversation.
Here’s a starter kit of ideas:
Allow conversations about money to happen in front of children. Even things as simple as, “did you pay that bill yet?” or “how much were groceries this week?” are great. This teaches kids that money conversations are normal.
Talk about how you weren’t taught about money and why you want that to be different for your children. This could be a serious sit-down conversation or just something you share in passing when it comes up. For example, if you choose to give allowance and you discuss how that money is being used you could say, “did you know that I got allowance when I was a kid, but your grandparents never discussed it with me? I’m really glad we get to talk about it so you can ask questions and decide how you want to use the money”.
Learn and ask questions together. It is okay to not know everything! Heck, I don’t know everything. That’s why I’m constantly researching and learning about new financial topics. If a question comes up that you don’t know the answer to, use that as an opportunity to learn together. Do some online research, find a book on that topic, or call us!
Most importantly, when the topic naturally comes up don’t squash it. Kids need to know that money is an integral part of our world and therefore it is okay to talk to talk about
You can use this same list with friends and loved ones. If the ultimate goal is that more of us are financially literate and comfortable being able to discuss money matters, then it doesn’t really matter if you’re talking about having these conversations with toddlers, teenagers, or adults.
Next week we’ll tackle #2: determining the end goal for money conversations with children.
I’d love to hear from you! What money questions or topics would you like to see addressed in the blog? What questions do you have about today’s topic? Just hit reply to send me your thoughts!
XOXO
