Paying for Financial Help During a Financial Crisis

Part of my job is to ask people to pay me money so that they get better with their money. Getting better with their money often means that they’re currently struggling with some scary money issues: debt, overspending, a lack of savings or harmful income inconsistencies. When I first started working for myself I really struggled with this ask. It feels uncomfortable to tell someone who is struggling with money to spend more money so that they can stop struggling with money. See that vicious circle? 

When the coronavirus pandemic hit the first thing I thought of with how it would impact my business was that my pitch was all of a sudden going to be a whole lot harder. And then I paused. The value of my work actually just went up, not down. It’s in my head that my pitch is harder. It isn’t harder, it’s that I still have some money mindset issues to work through. 

Here’s the real answer of why working with a financial coach is so important during a time of financial crisis. While this may feel like an incredibly bizarre time to be spending money on getting better with money, it also may be an incredibly important time to invest in this part of your life/work. I can help you manage your money so that it stretches farther while improving the way it feels when you spend it. I can also help you determine the best ways to use your time bringing in revenue so that you are getting more bang for your buck. Being able to use those skills and tools now means that you are in a much stronger position both during the pandemic and after. 

And here’s the money mindset work that I’m doing. I have recognized that asking for money for my services makes me uncomfortable. It makes me way less uncomfortable than it did a few years ago, but it still brings up some difficult feelings. I have realized that those uncomfortable feelings are connected to two things: 1) my not-always-stellar feelings of self-worth, and 2) some confusing money values that were pounded into me at a very young age. 

Most of the time I feel like a confident business owner. I’m proud of the work I’ve done, the impact my business has on my clients, and the money I bring in to my family. Unfortunately, most of the time is not all of the time. There are days when I feel like an imposter and there are days when I question whether or not anything I’m doing makes sense. I never doubt the quality of my work or how much I’m helping clients, which is good, but it is all the other things that I don’t stay consistently proud of. I know this is normal. I also know that when I focus on all of the good that I do for people most of my doubts melt away. 

The money values I was raised with are actually much more complicated and harmful than my self-worth issues. I was raised to believe that the only work worth doing is work that makes you a martyr to your cause. Being a public school teacher was great because I did a lot of good for the world, was wholeheartedly underpaid and overworked. Owning my own business that helps folks who are usually left out of traditional financial advising services because of their net worth, gender orientation, sex or ethnicity gets a check for doing good in the world, but fails at the martyrdom. Yes, I work a lot (I’m writing this on a Saturday evening), but I also make sure that I get paid an appropriate amount. This value of martyrdom creeps up when I’m feeling emotionally vulnerable (see self-worth doubts) and then makes me question whether I should even ask for money in the first place. See that vicious circle? I know that when I’m feeling more stable emotionally I’m less likely to feel these feelings, but they are still there and will probably still be there to some extent for the rest of my life. In the next newsletter I’ll dive deeper into this story and help you figure out your harmful money narratives and how to reframe them. 

Have you noticed any harmful money narratives come up over the past few weeks? How have you, or are you, dealing with them? 

XOXO