Working Through Our Money Emotions: Part 3//Money Mantras
There are a lot of financial professionals out there who wouldn’t touch the word mantra with a 6 foot pole. There is a whole other contingent that spends 100% of their time focusing on mantras, mindset and manifestation. I’m in neither camp. I rarely find the extremes to work for me, nor do I find that they work for many of my clients. That being said, according to my family in rural Louisiana I am incredibly “woo woo”. According to my friends in Los Angeles I’m pragmatic and straightlaced. Clearly perspective matters and depending on where you fall in the spectrum, this post may feel particularly uncomfortable or particularly easy to digest. I urge you, regardless of your initial reaction, to give it a try.
THE MINDSET/ACTION CYCLE
Your money mindset is the set of beliefs and internal narratives that you hold in regards to how you view money, wealth and your position in that world. No single mindset is right for everyone, but everyone deserves to have a healthy mindset - one that enables you to feel comfortable and good about your experiences with money and one that encourages you to make money decisions that align with your values.
Most healthy money mindsets are relatively fragile. Many of us grow up with incredibly negative mindsets and therefore have had to do a lot of work to change our narratives. Even if you grew up with a positive mindset, social norms often tear that down and you will have to work to keep it intact. Therefore, any time you experience emotional distress, your fragile money mindset can easily get disrupted and become negative. Unfortunately, we, as human beings, have a very hard time removing emotion from our decision making processes (actually, I think this is a good thing, but it certainly makes life harder!). If your mindset is in disarray then your decision making process will almost inevitably suffer as well.
You’ve likely experienced this at different times in the past. Maybe you were going through a particularly tough breakup and ended up booking a flight to Hawaii that you couldn’t really afford. Maybe you were feeling left out of a friend group and you spent money on clothes or experiences that helped you fit in, but didn’t really match your values. Maybe you were just having a shitty day so you ended up self soothing via online shopping or buying one too many glasses of wine because “you deserved it”. I’ve been there.
Globally, we are now in a time of mass distress. Even if you are healthy, employed and safe, you are likely feeling the trauma that is happening all around us. And, unfortunately, many of us aren’t healthy, employed or safe.
MANTRAS TO THE RESCUE (kind of)
Mantras are simple phrases that we can repeat again and again to help us rewire our narratives. For example, instead of my frequent narrative, “I’ll never get another client again” (truly, I do not know where this comes from, it has never been true, but has been a persistent, unhelpful thought for years), I can say “I am constantly bringing in new clients and helping them reach their goals”. Putting the mantra in the present tense is important because it signals to our brains that this thing that you’re saying is true now, and not something that might happen in the future or something that used to happen.
Mantras may feel silly when you first start using them. I mean, you are repeating the same phrase over and over to yourself, often out loud and often in a mirror, but they are incredibly powerful when you are trying to rewire a specific, negative money narrative. That being said, mindset is only one piece to the puzzle. You can rewire those negative narratives and create an emotional space where you are primed and ready to take on your financial goals, but if you don’t have the knowledge or skills to actually achieve those goals, you’ll still be, as my high school World History teacher, Mrs. Young, used to say, "up poo poo creek without a paddle." That is why I believe in the power of mindfulness, emotional intelligence and introspection when it comes to creating a healthy relationship with money and reaching financial goals and I believe that specialized skills and knowledge are crucial.
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE MANTRAS
I am healthy, wealthy and happy.
I have great ideas for how to make and save money.
I am enough.
I am worthy of financial success.
Money improves my life and the lives around me.
NEXT STEPS
Try it out! Start by asking yourself what your current money mindset is. Is it serving you? Is it hurting? If it is hurting, try to put that in words. Now spin that around and make it a positive sentence that will help you find alignment. If you’re having trouble, try out one of my tried and true examples, or reach out to me for some guidance. If you feel like you’ve got the mindset on point, but want some help with the skills, let me know. If you feel lost on both fronts, let me know (note: you can email me here).
I’m here for you on your money journey, wherever that may be.
XOXO
